On Weddings, friends and the wisdom of Jill Conner Browne

My friend Fifi (NOT her real name – see my first blog entry) is getting married. I have loved this woman for more than 20 years. She was one of my closest friends in college and to this day, my heart rejoices every time I hear from her. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am for her that she found a nice man to spend the rest of her life with. If someone deserves the happiness that a good marriage can bring (notice I did not say Wedding), she does.

My first recommendation to any bride is to go buy a copy of The Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner and Divorce Guide by Jill Conner Browne…Pronto! You get two books by the price of one: one side is the wedding planner and the flip side is the divorce guide. Both are equally helpful to any prospective bride, especially those who have waited this long to tie the knot. Also consider that every new/potential husband could be a potential ex-husband and all you little missies out there need to be prepared for the eventuality that your Prince Charming turns out to be a “Lying, Steeling, Cheating Sack of Shit”. Enough said.

As any other bride, Fifi is now discovering the exorbitant cost associated with planning a wedding. I want her to be happy, but also realistic. Once you add the cost of flowers, fashions, food, and all the pesky details, you may need to take a second mortgage on your home (assuming you own one) to pay for the damn thing. It may be easier just to elope and go to the Justice of the Peace: a lot simpler and infinitely cheaper.

I have to confess that professionally, I am an Event Specialist, and should not be dissuading you from spending lots of cash on this blessed event, but as long as my company does not mind a little humor, who the hell cares. My responsibility to my friends is to advise them and my responsibility to the company is to get them money. Quite a quandary. But at the moment, I am concerned with Fifi and not the hotel business.

So here this was my advise to Fifi and I hope you consider it as well: “As an event specialist, my recommendation is (and I am dead serious about it): Get married in the morning, have a breakfast for reception, do not have a dance but strolling musicians, and most of all, limit the list to 50-100 guests. You may get shortened on the gift front, but it is ohhh so much cheaper!!!! Remember that there are only two people needed there: you and him plus the celebrant. To hell with everyone else and what they think. That is your very special day and you are the Queen Boss of Everything! You are the CEO of this shindig, so what you says goes…unless someone else is paying, in which case you’ll need to shut up and painfully pass what ever is thrown at you as in 'shit through a straw'…but you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.”   Happy Planning!

Jill Conner Browne would be proud. Rest assured.